Three hours I will never, ever get back.

This pat Saturday, I was subjected to the most horrific waste of time I've seen in years. No, not Magic: The Gathering. Not even World of Warcraft. Not even, heaven forfend, Second Life. No, dear readers (all two of you), I was forced to view Sex and the City. Against my will.

As everyone in the Western Hemisphere knows by now, the massively overhyped movie based on a TV series based on a book came out of Friday. Synopsis: Big is an asshole. Samantha is a bitch. Miranda is even bitchier. Charlotte screams a lot. And has a baby. Carrie is self absorbed and label obsessed. Why, gods, why do I even know these characters names? The movie is vapid. A character craps her pants. Pubic hair jokes are made. Lots of people have lots of sex. I get to see way more of a guy who isn't my husband than I ever wanted to in an R rated movie. Gay men flame, and it's a HORRIBLE!!!11!!

There. I feel better now.